A Whole Day!!

Today was my first FULL day at work since August 4, 2010!  Can you believe it?  It's a funny thing to be proud of and to feel some accomplishment for...but this return to work thing is tougher than I would have guessed.  Keeping focused and remembering how to do my job is a challenge!!  It is definitely getting better with time and practice!!  I'm so grateful for understanding employers and co-workers!!

Tomorrow Matt and I are off to a KISS concert.  One of Matt's all time favourite bands.  Me, I go just to experience how much Matt loves being there! And, of course, after ten years together it turns out I know a lot of their songs too!!  We have excellent seats for the concert, and since I know that Matt will be painting his face, you can expect photos in the near future.  

That said, I should warn you that I am still trying to figure out how to do photos on the MacBook...so it could take me a few days!

I did finish the book I was reading "A Soft Place to Land".  It was ok.  I was disappointed in the ending, and I'm always bummed when I read a book and enjoy it while I'm reading it and then think the ending stinks.  With this book, I felt the ending left me hanging...and that makes the book feel unfinished to me. Oh well.  I'm on to the next book (see the side panel for details)...

Hope you are all having a great week and enjoying the (somewhat cooler) weather!  Geez...maybe we'll even get some rain!!

xoxoxoxooxoxo

What a Year It's Been!!

On July 19, 2010, Matt & I went to an appointment with my surgeon to get the official news...I had breast cancer.  One year ago today!  Man!  What a year it has been!  Some days it feels like so much longer than one year, and other days it feels like a whole year couldn't possibly have passed by!

I had a three month check up today and got a glowing report card!  I'm doing good!  I expressed my frustration at the lingering fatigue and this darn brain of mine that seems to be taking it's sweet time getting back to normal.   My oncology nurse gave me trouble!  She told me I need to stop being so hard on myself and recognize that my body is still healing from the "war" it fought this past year.  I finished my active treatments about four months ago...four months ago!  I know some of you will understand why I'm frustrated...and yet I really do understand that my body is still healing and that we all heal at different rates!

I am proud of myself.  I think I did a great job getting through the past year!  I couldn't have done it without my personal coach/nurse/caretaker, Matt!   How I ever got so lucky to have this incredible man in my life, who not only got me through the past year, but continues to love and support me every day...somewhere, somehow, I did something good!!

And of course, I couldn't have done it without all of you!  Thank you for the love. Thank you for the prayers. Thank you for the positive energy you continue to send my way. Thank you for the treats, the teas, the visits, the emails, the hugs, the books, the laughs, the smiles....

Thank you for being there for me.  I'm one lucky, lucky girl.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

One More Sleep...

I'm so excited! Tomorrow afternoon I pick up the boys at the airport and I truly can't wait to see them!!  I am excited to hear about the adventures they had in Europe and see all their pictures!!  Man, have I missed them!

Two weekends have come and gone since I last did a blog update.  Time sure flies these days!  I've been very busy with my house sitting...watering the gardens, enjoying the air conditioning, out visiting some friends (some who graciously made me dinner...thank you very much!!).  I've been so excited today thinking about seeing those smiling faces tomorrow!!  I did up all my laundry today (mmmm....fresh linens....) thinking they may be arriving with suitcases full of dirty clothes tomorrow...best to get mine out of the way!!

I had a wonderful weekend in the Kawarthas (last weekend) with my friends Sherri and Patti. The weather was unbelievably beautiful and we had a great visit!  If you have never experienced anything from the Kawartha Dairy, I would strongly recommend the ice cream and chocolate milk. It is so yummy!!  Thank you Sherri for such a GREAT weekend!  I loved the boat ride, the floatie in the lake and best of all the laughs we girls shared!!  Thanks for being such a great navigator, Patti!!  Giggles Galore!!

I have a great excuse for not blogging this past week. I've been a little preoccupied with my new laptop and iPad!!  Wahoo!  I have no idea what I'm doing...but that doesn't seem to matter. I am loving my new electronics!!  So far I have downloaded one book..."How to Use your iPad"!!  ha ha ha

On Tuesday I go for my three month check up at the Cancer Centre.   I'm hoping it's as easy and quick as the mammogram was!

Hope you are all finding a way to stay cool in this wicked heat wave we are having...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

And Away They Go…

On Tuesday Matt and Alex left for their European adventure. They’re off to Rome, Berlin & Munich. Lucky ducks. And so begins my house-sitting duties!! I am enjoying the backyard and the beautiful lilies that are all of a sudden in full bloom out the front! I am so glad I can sit on the patio and enjoy this beautiful weather we are having!!

A little bit of sunshine off the front porch!

Earlier this week I got to have dinner with my beautiful niece, Alyssa. She just graduated from Grade 8 and was her glass valedictorian. I’m so proud of her! She brought her speech with her so I could read it, her amazing report card for my review, along with all the awards she won! I think this brainiac takes after her Auntie Sue!! I’m very proud of you, Alyssa!! Way to go!!



How cute is she??  Good luck with your skating this summer at Mariposa, Alyssa!!



It was great to see Alyssa’s Mom (my step-sister Maureen) as well. Even the parental units joined in on the fun…sorry, no photo op for them!!

As you know, in the past year I have received amazing support from many people…friends and family alike. It has been an incredible experience that sure makes a girl feel loved!  I received the best email this week from Matt’s Uncle Willoughby. He is Beth’s oldest brother and the patriarch of the family. I thought I’d share the email with you:

“Sue, I have read your blogs with great interest and I have laughed, I have cried, I have prayed, I have empathized as best I could, I have wondered, and I have marveled.

I have marveled at your skill at writing. I have wondered how you found the courage and strength to do so. You must have plumbed the very depths of your soul to summon the bravery to lay bare your life for all of us to see.

I have also admired your spirit in facing, fighting and conquering, the Demon.

I am so very happy to see you looking so well and I am jealous of the hair.

You TIGER."

It's emails like that that make me believe I can do anything!! Thanks Uncle Willoughby…and all of Matt’s family for all the loving!! It is such an honour to be a part of your loving clan!!

Speaking about the past year, today I had my first annual mammogram. It is actually one year ago today that I went for what I thought was going to be the aspiration of a cyst…and instead had an ultra sound, followed by a mammogram, followed by a biopsy. I was a little emotional at my mammogram today thinking about the radiologist who had such a frank discussion with Matt & I that day, and gave us such a great heads up about what she believed she had found. It’s been quite a year!! The mammogram today was easy peasy. It didn’t hurt at all…either side! Uncomfortable yes, but no pain. I was really worried about how much it was going to hurt, and how the heck they could possibly mammogram my left side. They are simply the best at the Freeport Breast Clinic.

I thank all of you for your love and support, the positive energy and gifts of friendship that have come my way over the past year, and continue to find their way to me. It has been a reflective day for me and I am positively full of gratitude. My people rock!!



xoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

Happy Canada Day...and a wee catch up of sorts!

I know!  It has been more than a week since my last update...and I have so much to tell you!  I'm discovering that "normalizing" means getting busy and learning how to juggle more than one activity in a day!!  Let me tell you what I've been up to!!

I started a gradual return to work two weeks ago.  I'm truly blessed to be able to start slow and work my way up from there.  It turns out I have some MAJOR cobwebs in my brain to clean out...and it sure makes me tired!  I'm still trying to figure out what I remember and what I have to relearn, and it's frustrating that my brain doesn't work the way I remember.  I'm not sure if it's chemo, or a bad memory on my part and I was always this way!  I am glad at this point to be doing half days (I move up to three half days this week)...so far I've been using the afternoons to chill!!  Thank goodness my employer and coworkers are so understanding!!

Last weekend, Matt & I joined our friends Brock & Kelly on a wine tour in Niagara-on-the-Lake. We stayed in Niagara Falls and a wee bus picked us up and took us to four wineries.  I was a little worried...I'm not a big wine drinker and I wasn't sure I'd love it.  It turns out I had nothing to worry about!!  It was super fun!!  We even found nine bottles of wine we just had to bring home with us!!  Here are a few pics of our wine adventure...

A little lunch down by the falls (under shelter from the rain) before heading off on our tour!

mmmm....wine....I can't believe I found a red (and a rose) that I liked!

Hiding in the grapevines...

We only bought a few bottles...well, what can you do when they all taste so good?  Between the four of us, we found a lot we liked!!

This past weekend we had our annual Canada  Day celebration with Matt's neighbours.  We didn't actually have it on Canada Day - too many conflicts with other bbqs and fireworks!!  We hosted the party on  Saturday and it was fantastic!   It was definitely a little on the warm side (ok, I was sweating my butt off), thank goodness I had a few cold ones ready!!  I'm not sure what our final count was...I think around 43.  Matt was the official barbequer and we had the ceremonial changing of the flag (each year for Canada Day Matt buys a new Canada flag for the house), while everyone sang the national anthem.  It was really good!  Here's a few pics of our celebration:

The chef hard at (smoky) work!!  Man, so glad I didn't have that hot job!

Gathered on the front lawn and the driveway, just enjoying being neighbours!

The changing of the flag...so nice to put up a brand new bright flag!!

I finished another novel!  I am so very very happy to have my joy of reading back!  I'm still not as quick a reader as I used to be...I'm sure that will come back eventually!  I just finished "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett.

It came recommended to me by my friend, Sharon, and I really enjoyed it!  It was an easy read with a great story and I would definitely give it two thumbs up!  The story is about African American maids working for white families in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960s.  Hard to imagine a world like that depicted in this book. Thank goodness for change!

I have a mammogram scheduled on Thursday morning.  This is now an annual occurrence for me (obviously).  I'm not sure how one mammograms something that is no longer there (ouch comes to mind), but after all I've been through I figure a few minutes of pain and discomfort is more then worth it!!  But maybe send some comfort vibes my way on  Thursday morning if you think of it!!

Well...I'm off to bed.  I work tomorrow morning...man it still sounds strange to say that!!  Hope you all had a wonderful long Canada Day weekend!!  It sure makes me proud to live in the best country in the world!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Relay for Life - Survivor Lap!

I decided about a month ago that I wanted to participate in the Relay for Life.  I wasn't quite ready to get a whole team together to do the 12 hour relay, but I felt the need to do the Survivor Lap.  I wanted to see if I was ready...and if I could handle it emotionally.  If you have never been to a Relay for Life, it's worth it to stop by sometime, even if you're not a "relayer".  The atmosphere is like a carnival.  Such hope!  And all kinds of fundraising happening all over the place!  The Relay on Friday night was held at Resurrection High School in Waterloo...and I was anxious and excited and definitely nervous.  Not sure why I was nervous...but for some reason I was.

My band of supporters (plus Kelly who took this photo).  They arrived in time for the Opening Ceremonies and cheered me on the whole way around the track.  They've been cheering for me for the past 10 months, so it felt so right to have them there with me on Friday!  That's Brock, me, Matt, Judy & Jodi. 

The first lap of the Relay is for Survivors. They call it the Victory Lap.  All the survivors were wearing yellow shirts.  They ask the survivors to sign the banner that is at the very start of the relay.  It was a little intimidating to write my name down, next to names that said 14 years or 6 years or 10 years cancer free.  I just wrote "3 months done treatment!"

And we're off.  Me and my caretaker, Matt!  A big cheer from my cheering squad to get me going!!  Fists in the air...I truly felt victorious!

Truly a celebratory walk!  They read out the names of the survivors as you make your way around the track.  In a big booming voice, Dave (the friendly neighbourhood Schneiderman) said "Susan Langdon".  And for some crazy reason, tears came to my eyes.  I did it!

<>A special shout out to Pam and Lisa! For many years, I have counted money at the Relay for Life and this is the first year I participated. Pam and Lisa, my money counting friends, cheered me on with a big loud shout out and cheers from the money counting room as I rounded the track near where they were. They gave me a big wave and a loud hoot to let me know they were cheering me on this year! Thanks girls!!

Coming up to the finish line.  Matt raised our hands up in victory...it's fitting...we did the lap and for some strange reason, one lap around the track really makes you feel victorious!

The VERY best supporter a girl could ever ask for.  I love you buddy! You make me feel like I can do anything!

I am now on a gradual return to work schedule...and started back to work on Tuesday morning. I am working tomorrow morning too (I'd better get to bed soon!!). So far so good...of course, I seemed to spend a lot of time on Tuesday morning just getting my bearings again and cleaning up my desk! Hopefully tomorrow I can try to do some "real" work!!

And a special shout out to my Mom. She had cataract surgery on Friday and it's taking her a few days to get her feet under her. Darn surgery triggered a migraine and I know she is feeling rough. Rest lots, Mom. Sending tons of love to you and some healing vibes too!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

It was a MAGICAL experience!!

I know...I've been a bad blogger! But I have a really really good excuse!

Matt and I went to Florida for ten days. We had a conference for Matt's work in Naples from June 1st to 5th. We stayed at the Ritz and the service was amazing! It's beautiful in Naples and even though it was damn hot out, there was a lovely breeze by the pool...

And even better then that, the surprise musical guests/entertainment was one of my all time favourite bands - Blue Rodeo!!

My friends Oliver, Lisa, Mark, Heather, Vanessa, Brian & Brad (who know I am a big fan) pulled me up to the front to stand with them...right beside the stage...Jim was right there in front of me. And even better then that, I got to go backstage and meet him in person.

I don't know how many times I've seen Blue Rodeo in concert...10, 15, maybe 20...but this is the first time I got to meet them, get a hug, an autograph and a picture and it made my whole day! Jim Cuddy you rock!

And I loved meeting Greg Keelor too!!

We also went to Ngala - a private wildlife reserve - for dinner one night and I got to meet a camel (and a giraffe) and we had a lovely chat...

So, the conference was good and the Ritz was wonderful and it was really great to spend some time with people I haven't seen in a long time and who's company I truly enjoy! On the 5th, we rented a convertible and drove from Naples to Kissimmee...do you know what's in Kissimmee? That's right!

We went to Disney!!

Back in the fall, in the thick of my chemo treatments, I told Matt when I was all done I wanted to go on a holiday. And not some "learn the history" kind of holiday.  I wanted to go on a holiday to celebrate getting through all my treatments and one where I would be totally entertained. I'm not sure there is a better place in the world we could have gone! It was AMAZING!! I LOVED every minute of it. I totally bought into the whole experience...stood in line to meet Mickey, Pooh Bear and Tigger. Matt pre-ordered us some "Ears" and we wore them the whole time (I even wore mine home on the plane!!). It truly is magical and if you have not been...you should go! Whether you have children or not, you will love it! I've attached a few of my pics below. I think you can tell that there is nothing about Disney that I didn't LOVE!  I still have a huge smile on my face and we've been home a week tomorrow!

I loved Animal Kingdom.  We went on a Safari...jumped in a jeep and drove right on by the animals.  We even saw a lion roar!!

We sported some 3-D glasses to watch "It's Tough to be a Bug".  All the shows (3-D or musical) we saw were awesome!

The gates to the most magical place on earth - the Magic Kingdom!  We got there in time to watch the parade and Matt took pictures of me waving away, as excited as the small children standing and sitting near by.  I felt like I was a kid!!  Hey Mickey!  Hey Goofy!  Hey Cinderella!  I'm over here!!

Matt surprised me with a package he had pre-ordered and that was waiting for us when we checked in!  In the package were our ears, complete with our names stitched on!  We also got an autographed photo of Mickey and some yummy Mickey snacks!  I had a ball for five days watching our shadows and laughing out loud at my "ears"!!

I was worried we wouldn't get everything done at Epcot that we wanted to. And while we didn't do it all, we definitely caught the highlights!  I loved Soarin' (a ride that makes you feel like your hang-gliding) and we even did Mission to Mars (although the tame version).  How do you possibly pick a favourite park??!!!

Yep!  I stood in line to meet Tigger & Pooh.  My sister Sandy loves Tigger. He's her favourite. So I had to go and get a hug for her!  And I had to get a hug from Pooh for my friend Sherri...yep, I'm a selfless person sometimes!  As an aside, Tigger decided to make fun of my ears...really...he thought he was hilarious!  I guess he IS an expert on big ears!!

How can you not love having a set of ears!  People called us by name, or else called us Mickey & Minnie.  And look at those curls!  Isn't it crazy?  Never had curly hair in my life (at least not without the help of a perm).  Just look how long my hair is getting!!

It was magical.  I loved meeting the Mouse!  And Minnie was awesome too!  So many highlights, I don't know how I would ever choose my favourite!  I am so glad we took lots of photos!!

I am truly blessed to have the BEST partner ever.  The thought of the trip ahead definitely made getting through all the yucky treatments easier...and I had no idea how much fun I was going to have!  I'm so happy I could keep up (yes, there were a couple of breaks in the afternoon...and some earlyish nights)!!  Thank you, Matt, for the best holiday!  For spoiling me rotten!  And for loving me the way you do!

Tomorrow I am going to do the Survivor Lap in the Relay for Life at Resurrection High School in Waterloo.  It's at 7:00 if anyone wants to come out and cheer!  Next year I might think about putting a whole team together...but this year, I'm just doing the victory lap!! 

And next week I'm heading back to work.  We're working on a gradual return to work schedule...and I'm nervous as all hell...but it's time.  Time to find that new normal and get my brain rolling on all gears again!  This could be painful!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo