If you're still out there...stay tuned!

I have been a terrible delinquent blogger. I have no excuse...well, actually I have several...and I'll share them with you soon.

Yes, I'm planning a return.  Soon.  Really.

I'm just working through how to transition to something sort of new.  Seems there isn't much to blog about on the cancer end of things anymore.  YAHOO!!

So in the mean time Happy Canada Day!!

xo

My Friend Bernie

Today I found out my friend Bernie passed away on Monday.

One of the best things I did when I got diagnosed with cancer, and started my treatments, was sign up for the Well-Fit program at the University of Waterloo. It was a safe haven for me in every way...it was sterile, everyone else there knew (through their own experiences) what I was going through, and it got me out of the house on days when I didn't want to get off the couch or see anyone. It just felt good to be with people who understood the whole diagnosis/treatment process...and to exercise and be active in some way was great too!

But the greatest part was the wonderful people I met. The staff at Well-Fit are awesome, for sure, but it was my fellow survivors who gave me so much. They understood, they supported, they made me smile and believe too. One of my favourites was my friend Bernie. He had a huge smile on his face every day. We rode our stationary bikes side by side and talked about our cancers, our oncologists, our families and what we did for a living and for fun. Bernie was a big Disney World fan and when he found out I was going last summer, he couldn't tell me enough about what I had to do and see while I was there. He told me where to go to meet Mickey!!

My thoughts are with Bernie's wife Sheila and his family. I feel so blessed for having met such a wonderful, positive man. I thank him for helping me stay positive during such a difficult time and for always having a hug ready. I am definitely better for having known him. God bless, Bernie.

xoxoxxoxoxoxoxxoxo

Countdown to Hunger Games...the Movie!

I cannot wait!  I have finished the Hunger Games Trilogy and on Wednesday I'm going to see the movie with a couple of girlfriends!  I cannot wait!!  I loved this book, and of course I know the book is always better than the movie...but I just hear so many great things and I think the book lends itself to become a great movie!!  Wahoo!

Did I mention I cannot wait??!!

Tonight I saw Jupiter, Venus and Mars!  Did you look at the sky tonight?  There were two super bright stars near the moon...only they weren't stars!  Venus was the one closest to the moon and Jupiter was just below.  Mars was in a different part of the sky and had kind of an orange tinge to it.  Beautiful!!

I'm lucky to have an amateur astronomer on our street!  He had his telescope out and let us take a closer look.  We could see the four moons around Jupiter and this cluster of stars called Pleiades that sort of looks like a tiny dipper.  While we were waiting our turn to look through the telescope, we were checking out the North Star, Orion and the Big Dipper.  So cool!

And to top it all off, while we were outside star gazing we saw a shooting star!  So perfect I just had to make a wish!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Happy Anniversary to Me!!

Wahoo!!  I love these one year anniversaries!!  The end of last week marked one year since I finished up my radiation treatments.

Yep, one year ago today I was nursing my radiation burns and feeling grateful and proud to be DONE!!

Today, with a full year behind me, I am doubly grateful and feeling like time is on my side!!  As I'm sure you all know, the more time I can put between me and my diagnosis and treatments, the more the risk of a recurrence drops!!  Winning!!

So what have I been up to?  Well, Matt and I have been to a few symphonies lately, and it's made me think about my high school music teacher, Mr. Ted Kennedy. I took music all through high school and it was definitely my favourite class.  The clarinet was my main instrument (played in the studio band) and the alto sax was my second instrument (played in the stage band).  Man I loved those days!  When Matt and I went to see Bolero, it was lovely to hear those woodwinds featured!!  And it made me wonder why we never played it in high school (I think me and my friend Sheryl would have loved to give it a go!!)!  Then just a week and a half ago, Matt and I went to listen to the music of John Williams.  Yes, you know who John Williams is!!  He wrote the music for some of the best movies of all time...all six Star Wars movies, all the Harry Potter movies, the Indiana Jones movies, Jaws, Superman, ET, Close Encounters (the list goes on and on...).  It was a fabulous concert and again it made me think about Mr. Kennedy and the fun we had in music and band.  He always picked great popular pieces and I know we played a few pieces from John Williams' collection.   So I found myself wondering why I haven't played any instruments since high school...

Well...I do have my whole life ahead of me...maybe I should take up a brand new one...wonder how Matt feels about the drums!!

On a more serious 'note', as I put this treatment free year behind me, I have been reflecting on how lucky I am to have so many amazing people in my life.  I thank you all for the love and support that not only got me through my treatments but continues to show itself to me today!  It feels great to be feeling more and more like myself every day and I know the loving has made all the difference.  Thank you.

xoxoxoxxoxoxo

A Rambling Return …

I don’t really know how to explain my little hiatus from the blogging world.  I just felt like I needed to take a little break from technology…and the pressure to be immediate that comes with it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love emailing and texting…and yes, even blogging.   So I don’t really know what my problem was (or maybe still is).  I just felt the need to step away.  I’ve even been a bit slow to respond to some emails. Maybe it’s the idea of getting my thoughts together and sounding intelligent?? Or maybe it has to do with sitting in front of a computer all day for work and not being so excited about it when I get home.  I’m not sure.

 

I’ve also taken a bit of an extended break from Facebook.  Still have my profile and have logged in briefly to check something out here and there, but definitely not on every day (or even every week) and truly have little or no desire to change that.  It is mind boggling to me that there are tons of updates to check out every day.  As soon as I miss a day, I feel like I’m way behind, and it’s not like I have tons of “friends”.  Seriously, it seems like strange pressure to impose on oneself, so I’m trying to resist it.

 

But here’s the problem that comes with taking this kind of self-imposed break…you are almost immediately out of the loop.  People share what is going on in their lives using social media…and so with a break comes missing out on what is going on in people’s worlds.  For me, this meant not knowing about a particularly difficult time a good friend of mine was going through, and as a result, not really being there for her.  It also meant missing out on marshmallow roasting trolls…but that’s a story for another time!

 

I’m struggling.  I love my iPad and laptop and being able to connect via Facetime with friends and family…but somehow I feel like something has changed. Whereas before it was nice to be able to drop an email, or get one, now the pressure for me feels more intense.  Is that crazy??

 

So, what else is going on with me?  Well, things are good.  The fatigue is getting better and I feel like my energy levels are gaining some substance and endurance.  Obviously there is still room for improvement, but being able to feel a change feels amazing.  I had a three month follow up at the end of January and got a big thumbs up.  We talked about the fatigue and how frustrated I am with it…and I was reminded that I need to be kind to myself and to be patient.  I’m almost a year out of treatment…and what a year it’s been!!  Every day I’m so grateful that my journey brought me here.  To today, and the blessings I am so fortunate to have.

 

And in an effort to grab hold of life and live it fully, I’ve been able to make some changes with regards to work and am now working four days a week instead of five.  I am so grateful that Arca was willing to work with me on this.  It was difficult to work all week and have little energy for much else. Already last weekend I spent a day running errands with Matt and we went to the symphony too.  It was so cool to not have to nap/rest in the afternoon so we could go out that night.  See, things they are a changing!!

 

And for those of you who have known me a long time, I had a blast of reality two weeks ago when my baby niece turned 20.  Yep, Brooklyn is 20.  How can that be?  It seems like only yesterday her and I were taking road trips to Nana’s house.  She’s a beautiful girl and I’m as proud of her today as I have ever been.   And Matt will have that same blast of reality in a couple of months when Lauren turns 20 too.  Another beautiful girl we couldn’t be more proud of!!

 

For my reading friends, I must tell you I finished “Sing You Home” by Jodi Picoult and “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins.  “The Hunger Games” was an excellent read and I had to run right out when I finished it and buy the next book in the series (Catching Fire). And to say I’m excited about the movie coming out next month would be an understatement. I can’t wait!!  Yes, it was a very easy book to read…and I’m happy to say it did its job and got me excited about reading again!!  I actually bought the book for Alex for Christmas, only to find out he had read it a couple of years ago.  So I decided to keep it for myself and got him a different book. Am I ever glad I did!  Read it!!

 

Another big decision made…I have (finally) given up my apartment.  Yep, I’m in the midst of transitioning full time to Foxhill Manor.  I’m so excited and ready and thrilled to be living with this beautiful family that has embraced me whole heartily.  And yes, I’m a little scared.  For a girl who’s been fiercely independent for over twenty years, this is a big change.  And it’s a good one.    It’s so great to have family!!

 

And since I mentioned it earlier, let me tell you about my latest addiction.  I am IN LOVE with my iPad. It’s terrible. Poor Matt gets neglected while I play “Words With Friends”, “Diner Dash” and “My Town”...not too mention “Spider Solitaire”.  And I have downloaded a couple of books to read too.  I’m trying to share, really I am…but this is the best toy I think I’ve ever owned!!

 

So, there you have it. A long winded update about really nothing in particular. I’m back.  And I’m glad you are still around to read about it!

 

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Stay tuned...

I know...probably nobody out there still checking my blog...I've been a very delinquent blogger!

I am making my way back, I promise! And if you can give me a couple more days, I will have something to say (and hopefully it'll be interesting).

In the meantime, I hope you have had a wonderful weekend with your families!!

xoxoxoxo