A Rambling Return …

I don’t really know how to explain my little hiatus from the blogging world.  I just felt like I needed to take a little break from technology…and the pressure to be immediate that comes with it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love emailing and texting…and yes, even blogging.   So I don’t really know what my problem was (or maybe still is).  I just felt the need to step away.  I’ve even been a bit slow to respond to some emails. Maybe it’s the idea of getting my thoughts together and sounding intelligent?? Or maybe it has to do with sitting in front of a computer all day for work and not being so excited about it when I get home.  I’m not sure.

 

I’ve also taken a bit of an extended break from Facebook.  Still have my profile and have logged in briefly to check something out here and there, but definitely not on every day (or even every week) and truly have little or no desire to change that.  It is mind boggling to me that there are tons of updates to check out every day.  As soon as I miss a day, I feel like I’m way behind, and it’s not like I have tons of “friends”.  Seriously, it seems like strange pressure to impose on oneself, so I’m trying to resist it.

 

But here’s the problem that comes with taking this kind of self-imposed break…you are almost immediately out of the loop.  People share what is going on in their lives using social media…and so with a break comes missing out on what is going on in people’s worlds.  For me, this meant not knowing about a particularly difficult time a good friend of mine was going through, and as a result, not really being there for her.  It also meant missing out on marshmallow roasting trolls…but that’s a story for another time!

 

I’m struggling.  I love my iPad and laptop and being able to connect via Facetime with friends and family…but somehow I feel like something has changed. Whereas before it was nice to be able to drop an email, or get one, now the pressure for me feels more intense.  Is that crazy??

 

So, what else is going on with me?  Well, things are good.  The fatigue is getting better and I feel like my energy levels are gaining some substance and endurance.  Obviously there is still room for improvement, but being able to feel a change feels amazing.  I had a three month follow up at the end of January and got a big thumbs up.  We talked about the fatigue and how frustrated I am with it…and I was reminded that I need to be kind to myself and to be patient.  I’m almost a year out of treatment…and what a year it’s been!!  Every day I’m so grateful that my journey brought me here.  To today, and the blessings I am so fortunate to have.

 

And in an effort to grab hold of life and live it fully, I’ve been able to make some changes with regards to work and am now working four days a week instead of five.  I am so grateful that Arca was willing to work with me on this.  It was difficult to work all week and have little energy for much else. Already last weekend I spent a day running errands with Matt and we went to the symphony too.  It was so cool to not have to nap/rest in the afternoon so we could go out that night.  See, things they are a changing!!

 

And for those of you who have known me a long time, I had a blast of reality two weeks ago when my baby niece turned 20.  Yep, Brooklyn is 20.  How can that be?  It seems like only yesterday her and I were taking road trips to Nana’s house.  She’s a beautiful girl and I’m as proud of her today as I have ever been.   And Matt will have that same blast of reality in a couple of months when Lauren turns 20 too.  Another beautiful girl we couldn’t be more proud of!!

 

For my reading friends, I must tell you I finished “Sing You Home” by Jodi Picoult and “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins.  “The Hunger Games” was an excellent read and I had to run right out when I finished it and buy the next book in the series (Catching Fire). And to say I’m excited about the movie coming out next month would be an understatement. I can’t wait!!  Yes, it was a very easy book to read…and I’m happy to say it did its job and got me excited about reading again!!  I actually bought the book for Alex for Christmas, only to find out he had read it a couple of years ago.  So I decided to keep it for myself and got him a different book. Am I ever glad I did!  Read it!!

 

Another big decision made…I have (finally) given up my apartment.  Yep, I’m in the midst of transitioning full time to Foxhill Manor.  I’m so excited and ready and thrilled to be living with this beautiful family that has embraced me whole heartily.  And yes, I’m a little scared.  For a girl who’s been fiercely independent for over twenty years, this is a big change.  And it’s a good one.    It’s so great to have family!!

 

And since I mentioned it earlier, let me tell you about my latest addiction.  I am IN LOVE with my iPad. It’s terrible. Poor Matt gets neglected while I play “Words With Friends”, “Diner Dash” and “My Town”...not too mention “Spider Solitaire”.  And I have downloaded a couple of books to read too.  I’m trying to share, really I am…but this is the best toy I think I’ve ever owned!!

 

So, there you have it. A long winded update about really nothing in particular. I’m back.  And I’m glad you are still around to read about it!

 

xoxoxoxoxoxo